How to Break Up With a Company you Love

Imagine meeting an amazing person who you see yourself dating. This person is attractive, super smart, passionate, dedicated and they care about making the world a better place. They make you feel excited and happy and loved. Do you go for it or back off for fear of it not working out?

If you’re anything like me, you go for it.

What happens when after a month, you realize that despite how incredible the person is, they won’t help you grow in the ways that you’re looking to grow. Similarly, you won’t be able to help them grow in the ways they want to grow. They are too focused on their own mission (as they should be!) to help you evolve yours. And similarly, you’re too focused on your own mission (as you should be!) to help them evolve theirs.

So you’re faced with a choice: do you stick it out? Or, do you trust your gut and move forward?

If you’re anything like me, you trust your gut and move forward. You realize that if you stop doing something that feels wrong, you give the right thing a chance to catch you.

That’s what happened between me and the Unreasonable Institute over the last month.

I could go into a full story about what happened but I figured the most honest and real way to tell the story is to share the email exchanges that went down between the founders and I. If you’re in a similar position, wondering whether or not you’re going down a path that’s truly right for you, maybe the exchange will be of help.

The bottom line: It was a really healthy break up. We both learned a lot from each other in the short time we dated. We still love each other, respect each other, and will continue to remain in each other’s lives on a friendly basis. Who knows, maybe we’ll work together on something in the future too! As far as Boulder, I am absolutely in love with this town and I have no desire to leave in the near future. This place makes me feel like the best version of myself.

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From: Amber Rae <amber@unreasonableinstitute.org>
Date: Wed, Dec 7, 2011 at 3:05 PM
Subject: For our 7pm meeting tonight! (Read before if possible)
To: Daniel Epstein <daniel@unreasonableinstitute.org>, Teju Ravilochan <teju@unreasonableinstitute.org>

Mr. Esptein! Teju and the Elephants!

For our conversation tonight, here is the full and honest 100% truth from my perspective. I wanted to send in advance so we can make our time as productive as possible. If you don’t have the chance to read before our 7, we can walk through it then too.

The bottom line: My heart and gut says I’m not the right fit for Unreasonable. I don’t fulfill Unreasonable’s current needs, and my interests, desires and the skills I’m hoping to grow are not in line with the current priorities of the organization. While I deeply respect and love the organization and everyone involved, I know in my soul that we’re not right for each other.

I support you and want to see you unlock your full potential. Based on that, here are some thoughts about what I think you need, can improve, and how I might help in the future.

What the organization needs from its Communications Hire:

100% commitment. I know you said that it’s okay if I’m working on other projects but over time, this will become detrimental to the culture and running of the organization. Your saying it’s okay if I’m not fully committed reminds me of the girlfriend who says “I don’t want to be in a relationship either!” Unreasonable needs someone who is excited about being deeply and passionately committed to the organization for at least the next year.
Manager level. You’ll be much better off finding a hungry 23-24 year old who is looking to get their hands dirty and make shit happen. Strategic is good, and an ability to implement is even better.
Knowledge of impact space. Despite Daniel’s deep dislike of the term “social entrepreneur,” I do feel it will be valuable and imperative that the person communicating on behalf of the organization has a fundamental understanding of the space you’re currently serving. This will help them be more strategic, effective and successful.
Unreasonably Reasonable. You will be more successful captivating and growing someone who has a more “reasonable” background and is looking to become “more Unreasonable.” If you help someone make this personal change in their own life, they will feel indebted to the organization. You will grow together.

What I’d improve about the hiring process:

Today verses Tomorrow. Hire someone based on the current priorities and needs of the organization. Find someone who is deeply excited by the Institute and wants to communicate on its behalf. Focus on and find someone who is excited by the must-do’s now verses the nice-to-haves later.
Project trial. As part of a short-term trial, give the prospect a very specific project that is in line with the organization’s current needs. For example, find someone who loves media relations and can help make the Marketplace receive twice the traffic. Tell them what success looks like. Evaluate accordingly. This also decreases the pressure and formality of the on-boarding process from both ends. It allows you to naturally and intentionally test the waters, through a very specific project, to see if Unreasonable is a perfect match on both sides.
Fuck titles through trial. Focus on specific projects based on needs. Evaluate outcomes. When you find the right person who is killing it, then offer them a title and specific role at the organization.

How I can help moving forward:

Find the right person. In all honesty, since I didn’t attend the Institute, I wonder if I’m the best person to help you find the right person. At the same time, I have a great instinct for talent, have placed 16 people in jobs they love over the last year and feel confident about my ability to design an application process + hiring system that aligns with your current needs and priorities. Similar to how I’ve brought on high-quality talent for revolution.is and the Domino Project street team, I would recommend a 2-part application process (application form to filer talent + video interviews) followed by a 1-month specific trial project. There will be people JUMPING to work at Unreasonable on Communications. We can find the best based on a pre-designed set of criteria that we agree on.
Strategic direction. If and when it makes sense, I’m more than happy to help the future communication manager brainstorm and develop strategies on an ongoing basis. I’m happy to recommend mentors for the Institute. I’m also happy to meet with members of the team to think through community and communications strategy.

I love you guys,

Amber

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From: Daniel Epstein <daniel@unreasonableinstitute.org>
Date: Thu, Dec 8, 2011 at 1:12 AM
To: Amber Rae <amber@unreasonableinstitute.org>

just wanted you to know I admire, respect, and 100% understand where you are coming from

I’m still convinced that one of these days, together, we will take something BIG to the stars =)

tons of love, thanks, and admiration,

Daniel

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What We Do…

The Unreasonable Institute is a mentorship-driven acceleration program for entrepreneurs tackling social and environmental problems. Each year, we unite 25 entrepreneurs from every corner of the globe to live under the same roof for six weeks in Boulder, Colorado. These entrepreneurs receive training from 50 world-class mentors, ranging from the Former Director of Google.org, to the CTO of HP, to an entrepreneur who’s enabled over 19 million farmers to move out of poverty. In the process, they form relationships with 20 investment funds, receive legal advice & design consulting, and pitch to hundreds of investors and partners. Check out this 3-minute trailer to get an inside peak!

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Founding President

Cell: +1.312.505.2247

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