Quarter-life Blessing

Today is my 25th birthday. A quarter-life crisis, as some like to say, feels more like a quarter-life blessing. I’ve spent nearly my entire life in pursuit of why I exist and how I can impact others. At twenty-five, I can finally say I’ve discovered the how to my why.

My approach to life has always been quite simple: do what feels right, change what feels wrong, appreciate all experiences, and touch as many people as possible along the way. I never know what five years will look like, let alone six months from now, and that’s why every new experience takes my breath away and makes me feel alive. Instead of putting myself in a pattern of predicting the uncertain future and basing my “potential success” on an externally focused goal, I like to focus only on that which is internal.

I’ve realized that my relationship with myself and the frequency in which I do things that make me feel useful greatly influences my mood, actions and behavior. I figure that so long as I continually strengthen and improve upon the relationship I have with myself, and give what I learn to others, I will increase my chances of creating positive impact. Why I exist and what I live for has never been in question for me. I feel fulfilled when my actions touch and inspire positive action in others, and nothing warms my heart more than warming another’s. What I do and how I satisfy my desire to inspire has evolved and changed throughout the course of my twenty-five years.

The question I frequently ask myself is: how will I eat and put a roof over my head while continuing to create and feel positive impact every day? Much to the dismay of others, I’ve quit jobs without knowing what’s next, “suddenly” moved states without knowing anyone, flown to cities without a place to stay, and fully thrown myself into uncertain situations that might hurt me or give me “nothing” in return. But really, what is “nothing”? And what is everything? What is success? And when do I reach it? Can I be successful right now by simply doing the things that make me feel like I do good?

And what’s most important: experiencing something that forever changes my life or security and making money? Loving someone and getting my heart shattered or never experiencing that depth of love at all? Pursuing that which feels right and sometimes fucking up in the process or never knowing what it feels like to truly live? Dedicating my life to following my heart or basing all decisions on numbers and revenue potential? Struggling to discover what fulfills me or never knowing why and what I live for?

I like to focus on the former. And because of this, I feel blessed.