The fastest ship in the world, relishing in pleasure, and altering the path of your life

I’m writing this on the fastest ship in the world. I’m sitting in my cabin, sailing from the Bahamas back to Florida. Outside my window, I see waves furiously crashing against the ship and I feel myself swaying back and forth, back and forth.

I just spent the last four days with Daniel Epstein, founder of the Unreasonable Institute, exploring a business opportunity between Semester at Sea and Unreasonable. They’re thinking about doing a global experiment in transnational entrepreneurship and I came on board to help them think through the opportunity from a storytelling perspective. Good times.

In the last few days, I’ve met at least fifty Semester at Sea alumni who’ve all told me that the experience “changed their life” but now, they’re not sure what they’re doing. They don’t know what they enjoy, what brings them pleasure. They want to be happy but they don’t know how to get there.

Two nights ago, at around 1:30 in the morning, I sat with a table of smart and interesting men and women who all felt some level of “stuck” in their lives. As I told them about my story and journey, their eyes widened and interest piqued. I could feel and see them opening up to the possibilities in their own lives. As I very candidly told them about the ups and downs of my path, and why it’s been worth it, I created a space for openness and vulnerability. Every person started sharing their story and challenges too. They welcomed my very personal and poignant questions, and as a group, we connected around inquiry and understanding.

When I hear people talk about trying to make positive changes in their lives, they often explain how they want to feel in three months or a year from now.

“If I take this job then I will make enough money to pay off my student loans. Then I’ll be happy.”

“If I do this graduate program, it will give me enough credibility. Then I’ll feel good enough to do the work I’m meant to do.”

“If I date this girl, she’ll help bring balance to my life. Then I’ll feel better.”

No. False. That job won’t make you happy. That graduate program won’t make you feel good enough. That girl won’t make you feel better either. Temporarily? Of course. But in the long term? Absolutely not.

Why? Because happiness comes through self-understanding. It comes through an awareness of who you are, what makes you tick, and why you exist. The path of your life will obey the shape of your beliefs about love, value, and possibility. To make any lasting change in your life, you must first understand that which is shaping your beliefs right now. You can’t fight it, shame it, or ignore it. With openness and understanding in mind, you must get curious about why you feel the way you do. When you welcome your feelings and let the stories unfold, you’ll get to know yourself. Your true, naked self. The kind who lives a life full of pleasure, enjoyment, and adventure.

So if you’re feeling stuck, and if you want to make any change in your life, start by listening to your feelings. Unmet feelings obscure your ability to know yourself. So starting asking questions. Be tender to yourself. Let the stories unfold. Pay attention to and accept what arises, even if it surprises you.