in looking back on my life, everything is connected. the moments that made me feel and the interactions that touched me most deeply led me on the journey to where I am today. these experiences, the ones that truly impacted me, were the result of me trusting my instincts and letting my intuition guide me.

i believe everything in life is connected, and therefore, we should love accordingly. we connect our own dots, we choose what we decide to love. let’s never forget that.

i believe we only have one dream. it comes in many forms, shapes, steps and moments, all of which culminate and grow over time and with perseverance. when we discover our one dream, when we nurture and love our why, life connects and sparks fly.

the problems we have now will not go away until we decide to face them, squarely in the face. we have a choice: work on the problem now or ignore it and let it pass until months or years later when it resurfaces again. everything in life is connected. our only choice should be to love accordingly. 

people will continuously enter and re-enter our lives. even if just for a moment, these people are pre-sent, a gift to our present moment, and an opportunity to learn, grow and discover something about ourselves.

connect what you love, live accordingly. 

“Can you play basketball?” a close friend recently asked. “Umm… sort of…” I cautiously replied, “but I’ll definitely try.” 

I’ve never been all that into sports. Dance and yoga were way more my thing. Well, actually, start-ups, the internet, and human behavior are really my thing but if I wanted to do something good for my body, bikram yoga, modern dance, and city walks always topped the list. Then a guy named Jeremy came along and convinced me to play basketball with him, and well, the rest is history.

Upon entering the court, my dribble was decent, shot less than mediocre, and game pretty terrible with moments of complete luck. I’m not the type who particularly enjoys being bad at things, but I remained open-minded and ready to learn something new.

We played a game of horse to get warmed up which turned into two hours of shot coaching. By the end of “practice,” I felt good about my progress. When I returned back to the court this past Sunday, my shot and game were much improved, and I even won a game too.

Some lessons:

1) Be open to failing miserably and performing terribly at first. You’ll enjoy the experience a lot more, and you’ll improve more quickly too. 

2) Find someone who enjoys coaching, wants to see you do well, and is good at analyzing what you’re doing wrong and communicating how you can improve.

3) Listen, listen, listen and watch, watch, watch to understand techniques. Then practice, practice, practice and watch yourself improve.

4) Pay attention to what you know well and stick with it. In the first game, I kept wanting to move around the court and try new shots. Sticking with what I knew and was good at actually made me feel uncomfortable. Then Jeremy reminded me that the best players know their strengths and focus on them. My game drastically improved (and I won a game) when I focused on what I knew and did best. 

5) Half technique, half mental. Once I had the techniques down, the other half of the game was completely mental. When I focused and stilled my mind, I scored with ease. When I questioned or let the pressure get to me, well, it got to me and I lost. 

6) Experiment with new ways of learning. (For me, this time it’s basketball.) Apply it to your life. Grow, grow, grow.

Reading Willie’s post about his first week in New York made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Willie is one of my Project Domino teammates and someone who I fell in friend love at first sight with. 

Opportunity is Everywhere

What’s incredible about being paired with five strangers is that you all come together for one purpose, one mission, and an insatiable desire to do something meaningful. (More on the team in a future post.)

Working with Seth is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. It’s been one week. ONE WEEK! And I feel like I’ve learned a year of lessons about myself, what scares me, and what I’m good at in just six days.

With Seth, what you see online is what you get in person. How he writes is how he talks. What he says is what he does. It’s beautiful. One thing I appreciate most is how he’ll call your bluff. He’ll throw you up to the dry erase board to play pictionary so that you learn what it feels like to be wrong and why it’s okay to fail. He’ll take you on a car ride to “brainstorm” so he can understand what’s holding you back. Then, he’ll push you to start instead of hesitate and contribute instead of fear. 

From Night Owl to Morning Glory

Getting into the morning groove has been, by far, the most difficult transition for me. I spent the last year going to bed around 3am and waking up around 11. Transitioning to a 12am bedtime and 7am rise has been quite the wakeup call. I’m glad to say I’m finally getting the hang of it.

Energetic Amber went away for a little while but my skipping down sidewalks and jumping up and down when I feel excited is starting to come back. (Yay!)

My social life is definitely taking a big hit but I gotta say, it’s been a nice catch of breath. 

I <3 the Upper West Side

I thought I was a below 14th street kind of girl. Then I moved into a lovely little apartment in a pretty and quiet neighborhood called the Upper West Side. Elevator building + personal bathroom = win. Best roommate in the world = yay! Close to Central Park and Whole Foods = :). Only a 20 minute ride on the 2/3 to Wall Street = <3. A lovely little balcony = !!!!!!

I must say, I’m really loving it up here. 

2011 is the Year

No, seriously. 2010 was about exploration and discovery. 2011 is about focus and commitment. It’s about shipping great work and surrounding myself with people I love. It’s about deep joy, feeling fulfilled and helping others feel this way too.

<3

it’s easy to live within our comfort zones, getting into the same routine day in and day out. it’s natural to feel afraid for how change might impact our lives, how it might show us something we’re not yet ready to face. 

the problem is that we’ll never grow and evolve our perspectives. we’ll get stuck in the way things are, thinking that it’s the only way things can or will ever be.

the secret, i’ve discovered, is knowing that i’m already good enough, just as I am. it makes it a hell of a lot easier to chase what scares me when i have faith in my current and future self, when i’m truly being myself in every experience and interaction.

i think you’ll find that what you believe about yourself will be reflected in the people who surround you. are you the average of the five people you most closely surround yourself with? maybe. i think, more accurately, these five people represent what you’re feeling inside.

you’re already perfect just the way you are. now go chase what scares you.

intellectual failure requires the willingness to be “wrong” and the confidence to contribute and explore until answers are found.

what is a “dumb” question? why is it dumb? 

would you rather someone asked a lot of dumb questions and grew quickly or asked no questions and never evolved?

ask more questions. seek intellectual failure every day.

everything in life begins with love. in all relationships, in our work, in our encounters with random strangers, everything is connected and we should love accordingly. we only give when we love. 

There’s a distinct difference between doing what feels right and feeling slight discomfort along the way & doing what feels wrong and feeling torn up in the process.

Slight discomfort means you’re growing and opening yourself up to situations that challenge your comfortable behaviors. These experiences will help you learn and grow in unprecedented ways. You may question yourself but you’ll eventually learn to trust, keep calm and carry on. You’ll realize that feeling overwhelmed actually indicates how much you’re growing.

On the other hand, feeling torn up is your body’s way of telling you “PAY ATTENTION!” and “LISTEN!” These experiences are eye-opening and when recognized, provide equally meaningful insight into your behaviors and decisions. They’ll remind you what not to do again in the future.

I think we’re sometimes afraid to walk away from wrong and potentially damaging situations for fear of being a quitter or seeming indecisive. At least I’ve experienced this in the last year. But in times of uncertainty, I like to remind myself that a month from now the uncertainty will be of little importance and the change I’ve encountered between now and then will be worth it.

I’ve learned there’s something to saying no when it’s not right & passionately pursuing until timing, experience and opportunity intersect.

crazy is staying comfortable in the familiar. irrational is doing work you don’t enjoy. unrealistic is thinking that you can’t evolve, change and grow as you go.

life is a colorful adventure made of happy yellows, sad blues, romantic reds, mysterious blacks and many more colors in between.

we can’t predict what will happen so we might as well start experiencing the answer instead.

When I applied to be part of The Domino Project, Seth Godin’s new brainchild, powered by Amazon, the application process was inspiring yet intense. Most of the questions came fairly easily and actually helped provide some clarity for me in terms of where I’ve been and where I’m going.

There was one question specifically that annoyed me as it made my head hurt a bit:

Skill testing question #2 *

A turtle and a giraffe leave Cleveland, walking in different directions. The turtle walks at 5 meters per second, the giraffe at 12 meters per second. What color is the street sign?

At first, what I thought I was supposed to do was analyze the question, figure out what elements were not important and then possibly do some research on Cleveland signs. But no, that made my head spin and didn’t feel right. 

I skipped the question until I finished the rest of the application and by that time, was low on energy. I took a short food break and came back to the question again, with revitalized energy and a different approach this time. I told myself to answer the question in a way that felt right to me. So instead of analyzing the answer, I began to imagine one. Suddenly a story began pouring out of me and this answer turned out to be my favorite of the bunch.

The color of the street sign doesn’t matter. The characters in the story and what they stand for do.

Turtle spends his life looking down on the objects right in front of him. He sees what’s immediately next but lacks the ability to look beyond at what’s possible. 

Giraffe spends her life with a head up in the sky. Prone to acting out-of-character when separated from her natural environment, she sees what’s possible but is afraid to act.

Turtle, a young boy from Cleveland, has much potential but little direction. Giraffe, an inspiring young gal, feels a desire for something but isn’t yet sure what that is. 

They’re both searching for a sign, a green light, and a signal for what’s next… it’s a message they are looking for. The color never really matters.

The lesson is that sometimes we have to look at things several times to discover the right way for us. There’s no one right way to do things and we don’t have to live, or answer questions, how everyone expects us to.  

Relationships either work or they don’t. You either treat each other like gold and it feels good or it doesn’t feel right at all. When it’s right, embrace. When it’s wrong, let go. It’s better to walk away from situations that aren’t right than hold on for something to change or magically evolve. You’ll end up closing yourself off to new and better beginnings.

Krystal, my best friend since birth, was over tonight with her four year old son Jay. He is incredibly intelligent, very curious and has an adorable lust for life. I lit a fire and Krystal and I enjoyed a glass of red wine as we watched The Holiday. A moment of complete and utter bliss.

Jay, full of vigor and energy, was playing with his trains, drawing transformers, and running around the living room from time-to-time. As he jumped and moved, I began to feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety. Everything in the room suddenly looked like potential danger. The fire, the wine glasses, the coffee table, the chair… all objects that Jay could possibly fall into and get hurt from were now my enemy. My instinctual reaction was to eliminate anything and everything that could hurt him, before he experienced harm. 

As I became aware of my feelings and thoughts, I reflected on the moment. Jay was, as a young boy should, fearlessly and effortlessly playing, jumping and exploring. Despite my instinctual reaction to catch him before he fell, and prevent him from experiencing pain, I realized this metaphor applies to all of life. If I suddenly stopped him or disciplined him for not being “careful,” I might instill a fear. Instead, the only thing I could do was to guide him to more calm playing, and be there with open arms, love, hugs and support if he did fall. This way, he could fearlessly go back out there again.

Did he fall? Of course not. I got myself worked up for nothing… or perhaps for a lesson of how my Mom probably feels each and every day.

(Jay, pictured above. I snapped this photo of him this fall.)

I frequently hear people talk about not knowing what they want to do. 

“I’m unhappy in my job but I don’t know what else to do.” 
“I make a lot of money but don’t feel satisified with what I do.” 
“I don’t know what to major in because I don’t know what I want to be.”

The inherent problem with this way of thinking is the focus on what. What we do is far less important than why we do it. What we do changes and evolves over time. Why we do what we do gets to the core of our beliefs and deeper purpose. Clarity of why helps bring clarity of what. Consistency in why helps bring consistency in what. 

Why I’m writing this right now is because I want more people to deeply understand their abilities. I want more people to take note of what truly moves and inspires them. And I want people to act, with intent, purpose, and clarity of why, in everything they do.